Never Date a Liberal Woman (Unless You Hate Yourself)
Let’s keep this simple. You see a girl with blue hair, a tote bag that says “No Uterus, No Opinion,” and a nose ring you could hang curtains on?
Don’t flirt. Don’t smile. Don’t swipe right. RUN.
Dating a liberal woman is like test-driving a Prius that’s already on fire — and she’s in the passenger seat lecturing you about carbon emissions. You won’t make it past the first mile without something exploding—probably your dignity.
1. Every Date Is a Struggle Session
You thought you were grabbing burgers and laughing? Nah.
- She’s bringing up colonialism between fries.
- She’s accusing the waitress of “internalized misogyny.”
- She’s asking if you’ve done the work to “deconstruct your privilege.”
You ordered nachos. Instead, you got a three-credit Gender Studies course — complete with assigned readings.
2. No Jokes Allowed
Tell a joke? You’re canceled.
Sarcasm? Problematic.
Tease her a little? Emotional abuse.
Liberal women are allergic to humor—unless it’s some weak-ass, late-night monologue where the punchline is “Republicans are dumb.”
Her idea of comedy is watching Stephen Colbert smirk while the audience claps like trained seals.
You’re not dating a woman. You’re dating the HR department.
3. You’re a Placeholder, Not a Partner
She’s not into you. She’s into the idea of you.
She wants to date “a guy” because it looks cute on Instagram.
But she’s secretly building a case against your entire gender.
- You say “hey you look nice”—she hears “oppression.”
- You open a door—she hears “patriarchy.”
- You don’t agree with her? You’re a Nazi now.
You’re not her boyfriend. You’re her stand-in straw man until she finds a panel discussion.
4. She’s Already in a Relationship—with Her Ideology
You’ll never be her first love. That spot’s already taken…
By politics.
She sleeps with headphones in, playing NPR.
She dreams of Bernie Sanders shirtless on a solar-powered yacht.
She calls AOC her “spirit guide.”
Her idea of romance is filing joint taxes to fund socialized cat yoga.
Try competing with that. You won’t win. You’ll just sit there, silently nodding as she praises the IRS.
5. Sex Will Be Scheduled—And Judged
Hope you like permission slips, awkward checklists, and “is this still okay?” every 15 seconds.
Dating a liberal woman means sex is a negotiation—not a moment.
- She’ll grade your performance like it’s a sociology paper.
- You’ll get demerits for “heteronormative aggression.”
- And if it goes well? Congrats, you’re now part of her TED Talk.
Sex will feel less like passion and more like filling out a survey for a sociology major.
6. Her Exes Are All Emotional Support Animals
You know how conservative girls date men?
Liberal women date half-evolved man-children who “feel deeply” and “can’t be confined by labels.”
You’ll hear about her last boyfriend, Trevor, who was “polyamorous, pansexual, and really into crystals.”
Her last boyfriend identified as a “non-binary moonbeam” and worked part-time making kombucha. And somehow… you’ll still lose every comparison.
Spoiler: You didn’t. He cried during Pixar movies and left his vape at her place. You’re just next on her psychology experiment list.
7. You’ll Never Say the Right Thing
Try to compliment her? Offensive.
Disagree with her? Threatening.
Stay silent? Complicit.
Every conversation is a verbal minefield.
One wrong step and she’s posting screenshots of your texts with the caption “THIS is what women deal with.”
Even a thumbs-up emoji becomes evidence in her next Instagram story about “toxic men.”
You’re not a boyfriend. You’re a potential op-ed.
Final Thought
Dating a liberal woman might feel edgy, rebellious, even “open-minded.”
But the only thing you’re opening is Pandora’s box—with a pink pussy hat inside.
You won’t change her. You won’t “show her another perspective.”
You’ll just become another sob story she tells at her next wine-and-resentment gathering.
So unless you enjoy being gaslit, guilt-tripped, and grilled over every opinion you’ve ever had…
Date someone who respects your spine.
Not someone who’s trying to surgically remove it.
for further reading: Why You Should Never Marry a Liberal Woman
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